A piece of advice: stop giving me your advice
There are so many articles, books, movies on “How to be Successful”, “30 things to do before you die”, “Find this”, “Do that”, “Follow these rules”… Ugh! Enough already! I haven’t met a single person who said: “Yo! I’m this rich/happy/successful because I read this book”. Have you maybe met anyone like that? Let me know, I’d really like to meet that person and pick his brain a tiny bit.
My whole life I knew that I can let myself do things that some might judge, as long as my actions do not hurt anyone and, frankly, I think I’ve succeeded so far. But it is quite frustrating to see how hypocritical people are. They are repeating those golden words like “YOLO” or “Be yourself!” and yet they (well, we) also keep giving each other advice, suggestions, tips, and shit, on how to live your life whether the other person wants it or not…
Don’t get me wrong, people do mean well (at least I hope they do) but sometimes even I lose track of a situation: instead of being there for someone I try to find the root of a problem, dig the hole deeper when everything that I should say is “Yeah, it sucks!” or “What do you think you should do?” or maybe something like “Let’s get a drink, you’ll vent and I’ll just listen”.
I think we tend to forget that empathy is not necessarily a synonym for advice. We, as human beings, want to be needed, loved, heard, and understood. So next time someone close opens up to you about something, to show your compassion simply LISTEN TO THEM, please. HOLD ON TO YOUR LITTLE PIECES OF ADVICE AND LET THE OTHER PERSON DO THE TALKING. You know it yourself, speaking up actually forces problem solving process to kick in ;)
Here is my conclusion: VENTING IS VERY IMPORTANT so when someone vents to you next time, just listen and be there for that person.