He helped me see Her better

2 min readMar 26, 2019

For a long time I had been asking my partner to watch Ocean’s 8 with me but he kept refusing. We’ve seen all previous Ocean’s movies and enjoyed them so it was a bit concerning that he didn’t want to watch a similar story but about women.

At last, we agreed to watch it but I stopped the movie after first 3–5 minutes because of the look on my partner’s face. He did not like the beginning at all (btw, he knows what a good movie is, don’t get him wrong). First thing I thought was “women!” — he is being sexist, it’s his prejudice, he doesn’t get it. And in my mind, this image of 8 independent, strong women stood still in front of my eyes and I was gonna fight for what I thought was right.

I was wrong though. My partner straight away pointed at the fact that all these women were introduced to the audience as mean, arrogant, and pretty rude characters. Meanwhile, Danny Ocean’s crew included rather lovely, clever, and super charming men. And Bam! I couldn’t say a word back to him.

Not that I wanna say that women can’t and shouldn’t be mean if they need or want to be but why the heck the men are so adorable in Ocean’s sequels? Why can’t we see women who are kind and hardworking and yet not struggling cause their lives got caught up in family-kids-husband-school routine? Why can’t we see a woman who wants to steal some pretty darn expensive piece of jewellery and not cause he ex betrayed her but simply cause she wants to? Why can’t we see a woman willing to help out other women not because she doesn’t have many lady friends but because she’s cool with stealing and wants a part in the adventure?

First we see women that are pretending to be super manly but then it appears that it is all pretty feminine traits and stereotypes that drive their motives. At this point, I have to say that I’m actually very confused. I do wanna see strong women but I don’t want to see them rude. I do want to see caring and loving women but these shouldn’t be the ones who sacrifice their own selves for family. There are women who can balance their personal and professional lives and I think that is what both women and men would like to see. Would you agree or am I saying some nonsense?

P.S. I really like “Thelma and Louise” for example. The movie shows women which remain true women to themselves in a man’s world. If you have similar movies you can suggest me to watch, please share. Thank you!