Stuck in between

2 min readMar 17, 2020


Ah, this is something that just hit my mind and I want to vent.

I live in Moscow on a regular basis. However, I visit my hometown Kazan a lot because all my family and some my friends live there. I spend at least 4 days in Kazan at a time just because I never have enough time to spend with my parents, my little sisters, my grandma, and also try to figure out meeting up with friends. I miss my home a lot and visiting Kazan brings me peace (you can laugh at this but it actually does).

But, at the same time, there are so many things that I start miss about Moscow now being in Kazan. Its places, its rhythm, subway, parks, now favourite bars and restaurants, new friends as well… I do have all this in Kazan but I feel more of a stranger here now than a regular (well, maybe I stopped being a regular back in 2010).

The point is, I love my hometown, I dream of moving back here sometimes but, in fact, it turns out that nothing stays the same: places change, you change, time helps and rounds the sharp corners of life. As much as I love Kazan, I have moved on without knowing that (up until now). I thought I was stuck in between the two cities when it’s just me holding on to one of them. Oh memories, oh sentiments…

P.S. Thank goodness traveling is accessible between Moscow and Kazan so I see my fam quite often. Would’ve gone completely nuts otherwise.